He wanders slender as the night
Through corridors he roams
He looks in all the classrooms
Hears everybody’s moans.

He knows all of our secrets
And when we come and go
He sees us if we come in late
And especially early go

He’s friends with all the children
Knows all their cares and woes
They tell him of the teachers
They say that’s how he knows.

He knows if things are going wrong
And vanishes from sight
He only then comes back again
When someone’s put them right.

He’s called into the office
And told a leak has sprung
Returning hours later
To say it’s not been done.

He says go get a plumber
He’ll quicker work than me
I think I must be going home,
Going home to have my tea.

So please don’t call to tell me
There’s something wrong again
They say that such refusal
Such refusal can offend.

The moral of the story
Is clear for all to see
If you abuse the caretaker
There’s no future here for thee.